Enter your email to subscribe to this blog, receive newsletters, and to receive new posts by email. A hookup to relationship, is it even possible? When I say hookup I am referring to an interaction that is focused solely on sex.
I am going to answer this question, but before I do I want to be honest with all you women out there. I do not care how progressive this world is, encouraging women to casually have sex relationships with men see my blog here and that this is somehow How to move from hookup to relationship is a lie.
If you are in a casual sex type situation then know that it will be very hard if not impossible to move from a hookup to relationship type of situation. If you started your situation with just a hookup relationship then know that you are battling against that stereotype that you are just for play and not to make a wife.
I know this is hard to hear but I have sat in many therapy sessions counseling men and couples who started off in this situation and heard the man say.
Even if you move up from a hookup to relationship the fact is How to move from hookup to relationship your situation did not start off right will still fester in the relationship, making the relationship harder to be something more substantial. Because you are still battling against how a man saw you when he first meant you or the fact that he will have issues trusting you because you are a hook up kind of girl. And he may think that you may be hooking up despite you being in a relationship with him, because to him hooking up is apart of your character.
I feel that is a cold hold truth you must know while you are considering trying to make a hookup to a relationship. I will give you tips, but I also want to tell women that hookups are not liberating nor is it something that you should strive for.
In How to move from hookup to relationship end you are more than your body and when you reduce yourself to a hookup that is literally all you telling a man that is all you have to offer. Which is why it is so hard to get them to How to move from hookup to relationship you as anything more than just sex when all you have been to them is sex and you do not see yourself as more than just sex. With that being said, I will give you tips so that you can determine if it can be turned around.
And for those women who do not know if you are in a hook up or a relationship click my blog here because for some woman the lines can be so blurred at this point, you do not know what you are in.
I know this may be hard for some of you women because in your hookup situation sex is all you do and sex is all you have in common. And that is the same reason why you must stop having sex. First off there are hormones that are released during sex, that lingers for women for days on in.
Those hormones can cloud your judgment see my blog here on love, lust, and infatuation. Once you clear your mind you can see things for what they really are and IF you even want to be in a relationship with him. When I decided to be celibate see my blog here I told the story of me being How to move from hookup to relationship a situation with a man for two years and it was only when I stopped hooking up with him that I saw him for what he was.
Also when you stop having sex, you will gauge how he feels about you. If you stop having sex with him and he no longer wants to see you, talk to you, or have any interaction with you what so ever.
Then stop the chase. To stop having sex means do not go over his house, no booty calls, do not let him come over your house, and do not put yourself in any sort of situation that will make you accidentally slip up and have sex see my blog on dating and not having sex.
No spending the night, none of that. That means that all he has to do is wait for a bit, knowing that eventually you will give in.
So while you think you are getting to know each other he is still just using you for sex and giving you slight conversation as a trade to get what he really wants. To have sex with you. If he is interested he will keep seeing you and talking to you, without it. Dating is the key to formulating a relationship. It allows you to get to know each other in an outside setting to determine if you are even compatible. Through dating, you will also get to determine How to move from hookup to relationship interest in you and your interest in him.
First you want to ask the right questions on a date see my blog here. Determining if you want to be in a relationship, with this person, outside of sex is your priority and you still need to get to know this person and find out what they are about just like they need to get to How to move from hookup to relationship you and find out what you are about.
Big red flags that say you need to walk away from this situation include that he will not go on a date in public with you at all, that he stands you up on dates, or puts little or no effort on the date.
You order separately and pay for your own meal. That is really showing you how little he thinks of you and how little he wants to date you or get to know you as he cannot even pay for you to have a cheese burger off the dollar menu. And that is sex. Not to get to know you as a person or possibly be with you.
So if through this process of trying to date and get to know one another he has an unwillingness to do that or put forth the minimum effort when trying to date, then let it go and you know that your hookup cannot be a relationship. It will How to move from hookup to relationship really hard for you to go from hookup to relationship if you continue to do hookup behavior. And hookup behavior is making your relationship all about sex when you are trying to show him that you want more than sex. Falling into the same patterns of making everything sexual will just enforce in his mind once again to just see you as sex and when he needs sex that is all you have to offer.
If a man starts to talk to you about sex then redirect the conversation and start talking to him about something else, a real conversation. Red flags to look for is if you try to not talk about sex and he wants to stop talking to you, end the conversation, or redirect the conversation back How to move from hookup to relationship sex.
That is a clear indication that your hookup situation cannot be turned into a relationship because he is not interested in doing so. Have you ever heard of the saying that space makes the heart grow fonder?
Well that is what this tip is all about, just to see if his affection will grow for you or if it is even there. Mistakes that women make is that they tend to think that if a man is sleeping with you, having sex with you, and being intimate with you that they somehow care about you.
Forbidden how to move from hookup to relationship sexy photo
But that is not true, men will entertain you because they are bored and because they want sex. So never mistake him calling you for interest in you. Which is why you should not initiate contact. Do not text him, call him, email him, Facebook message him, do not do any of that.
If he is really interested in you then he will notice that you are missing and he will contact you. Now if he contacts you just to have sex then see tip number 3.
Talk about something else and if he is not interested in talking about something else then let it be. If he does not even try to contact you after you stop contacting him then cut your losses because he probably does not even notice that you are missing.
Either that or he does not care either way. I know my advice can sound very harsh, but it does not help for me to lie to you and tell you that a hookup to relationship is easy, when the fact of the matter is that it is very hard to do so.
More than anything you can try to turn it around BUT if he does not want it to be turned around then cut your losses and move on. Never be tempted to fall back into a hookup relationship because you sense that you are losing him and that by hooking up with him How to move from hookup to relationship is the only way to keep his interest.
Because if sharing your body is the only interest that he sees, then he is not interested in you but only what you can physically give him. Your body is way too precious to share it with someone who thinks of you as nothing more as a blow up doll to have sex with. With no emotion and nothing of value to say.
So do not reduce yourself to just hooking up, you are reducing your own value. Which One Are You In? You meet. You go on a date.
You have fun. You have some drinks. You share some laughs.