Big community funding update! We are "on a break". How long should it last? October 18, Last week she told me, quite out of the blue, that she wanted a break from our relationship. Things between us have been good. There was a period over summer when wedding plans caused a little bit of tension, but that was dealt with and we were both looking forward to the wedding, and we have spoken about starting a family after that.
The conversation about having a break lasted only about half an hour. She said that she had started to feel differently about her life in the last couple of How long should a relationship break last.
This wasn't news to me - she has become quite a lot more outgoing, confident and pro-active recently, which has been great to see. She has been something of a housecat for most of our relationship, tending How long should a relationship break last socialise as a couple How long should a relationship break last than on her own, and choosing my company over her friends most of the time. But recently she has been going out more, spending more time with her friends, and also trying things that she used to say no to for example, we went wild camping with some friends the other week - something I usually How long should a relationship break last without her, but she described as something "the person I'd like to be would do".
She says she would like some time to find out how she would feel away from our relationship, and I can completely understand that, given how differently she feels in herself. I asked if there was anything else affecting her decision, but she said there wasn't, so since then I've been staying with friends and we have reduced contact to a few text messages about practical matters. It has been eight days, and I have felt very anxious for the last few of them.
I find myself checking my phone every few minutes in case she has made contact. I drove past our house a few times just to see if she was there or not, and generally unless I'm with people, my mind is wrestling with thoughts about what might happen from here. I've had wonderful support from friends and family, and conversations have helped me rationalise what is happening. But I feel unsure about when is the right time to make contact with her, if she doesn't come forward to suggest we talk.
I don't know if she needs a month, or if two weeks is enough, and I also feel I don't want to be initiating the next conversation - I feel it should come from her. One factor that is playing on my mind is the fact that my fiancee wore a contraceptive implant until it had to be removed over the summer. The change in her was dramatic, and she experienced a sudden loss of self-confidence.
It was after this levelled out that she seemed to become more social and pro-active in her free time. Sex became less frequent after that, but we were talking about it and agreed it wasn't a problem. I wonder if anyone has anything to share about the way that hormone changes can affect the way a person feels about their life How long should a relationship break last relationship.
Any other thoughts about managing breaks in long-term relationships would be very welcome also. If you two had agreed that you needed to spend some time apart, you should have had a set of discussions, set the ground rules Is she seeing other people?
Do you even know? There should have been a lot of communication, and a lot of clarity for each of you. Not a half-hour talk and you wandering around in confusion.
You need to have those discussions now, or end the relationship. Obviously, I can't say if this has anything to do with your relationship, though. Go back to the drawing board and have a real conversation.
I don't care what's going on with her or your relationship--it is absolutely ridiculous that you have been displaced from your home for an indefinite length of time because of this.
That needs to change now. Get back into your house. Make some serious decisions.
There's something else happening. She wanted you to think everything was good. Or you thought everything was good, and were missing other signs. Now you have to find out why everything wasn't actually great, and acknowledge that she was feeling differently but couldn't vocalize her issues for one reason or another.
This isn't about blame, it's about accepting reality to move forward. If it were me I'd ask her for a specific timeline. You are allowed to have needs here.
Some things you might want could be daily check-ins, couple's counseling to get to the root of what's going on, or a deadline for how long this is going to go on. Figure out what you want, and advocate for that directly.